This was the week in which the queens were tested in their acting skills—the episode which, despite Michelle Visage's decree that "girl you are a drag queen, you are experienced in acting," inevitably ends up in a shitshow of epic proportions. And this season, the tragedies were literally Shakespearean, as Ru enlisted the queens to do camp takes on Macbeth (as "Macbitch," aka my new legal name, please refer to me as such exclusively) and Romeo and Juliet (as "Romy and Juliet," which involved cheerleading and copious Heathers references).
Oh god, the acting was tragedocious. It was so bad I had to invent a word to describe it, lest I sully any existing words; the English language doesn't deserve that. Ginger Minj and Max were the best, perhaps obviously, because they are dramatic personality queens. ("I do have some legitimate Shakespearean experience!" said Max, so Midwest matter-of-factly.) On the other hand, queens like Kennedy Davenport and Pearl flailed if not outright failed, but at least there were some quotable quotables. Pearl: "I've never even seen… what is the original name? Like, Macbeth? I don't even know what Macbeth is honestly, like call me young, call me like illiterate, whatever. I've never seen Macbeth." It is not so much the fact of it but the bobbleheadedeness with which it was unfurled, poor thing.
The runway category was, essentially, beardos—bearded lady realness, in which the queens had to look lovely whilst fully hirsute—which also led to varying effects, though one might argue it was not as disastrous as the actual talent challenge. Guest judges were Mel B and Kat Dennings, who said it was "the best day of my life" but then made like no snappy commentary. Whatever, we can't all be Visage!
Max continues to just surprise, elate, and thrill with her exquisite sense of dress! Here she's giving us "a little Tim Burton, some 1920s editorial Salvador Dali" which, yes, the piggy curl on her beard cued us in. There's something a little Jinkx Monsoon about Max's provincial wackiness, but not too-too-too much, which I'd say bodes well for her chances at going far. I'm not putting money on her yet, but I will if she aces Snatch Game, the true test.
She continues to be unimpressive on the personality front, but damn if she isn't pretty; here she's giving Dior New Look complete with ballet hands. Even the beard is luxurious, but of course, in this competition you can't go all the way on looks alone. Just ask Courtney Act.
How does she so consistently do diamonds-and-pearls, '80s Dynasty housewife perfection? This look is interesting because even with the Cruella wig and beard, there's something distinctly modern about it, like she was suddenly possessed by the spirit of Kris Jenner (and Kris Jenner's make-up artist).
PEARL. STAHHHHP. Her glittery devil beard was so unexpected and avant-garde, plus she looks like a million bucks in a pair of garters and leather; it's just a touch of Rocky Horror Picture Show but not in any obvious or distasteful way. Seventies glam, through and through—a little Cherie Currie, too. I would recruit her for my girl band!
There were also a procession of pagenty gowns and Miss Fame's take on "harlequin" realness, but I'm too heartbroken about the dismissal of one of my fave queens Jasmine Masters, purely on the basis of her poor acting and the fact that she drew on a beard, coffee-grounds-on-Halloween style, owing to an allergy to face glue, or something. Her look was gorgeous, a diamond-crusted black-and-silver gown ("It's very LumberJackée!" quipped Ru), but her lip sync against Kennedy ultimately couldn't give her life. Ugh, goodbye, Jasmine Masters, my love! Until we meet again (in the final episode of the season when they bring you back for a reunion).
Images via LOGO/screenshot.
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