Screenshot: Youtube/HBO

When it was announced that Meryl Streep would be joining Big Little Lies season two as Celeste’s (Nicole Kidman) mother-in-law Mary Louise, who comes to Monterey to find out what really happened to her son, I had one small question: will these bitches have to murder Meryl?

I mean, the “Monterey Five” as they’re known did kill Celeste’s abusive, rapist husband Perry, after all. The last thing they need is a nosey grandma played incredibly by Meryl Streep to figure out what all the women actually did together, which is cover up Perry’s murder like an accident. But as I watched the first episode, I realized that Mary Louise is a little unhinged herself; she’s rude, she screams, she’s just getting too close to Monterey.

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Will someone have to kill Meryl, or will Meryl have to kill someone? Every episode of Big Little Lies Season 2, I’ll rank on a scale of 1 to 10 how close Meryl is to being murdered, or to murdering herself.

Season 2, Episode 1: “What Have They Done”

1 to 10, how close is Meryl to being murdered: I’m giving this episode a 3 in this department. The last thing the ladies need is another murder on their hands, but Mary Louise did call Mackenzie “short,” which is a death wish, and judging by how Mackenzie screamed at her daughter over not going to college there’s a lot of pent-up anger there that needs an outlet beyond eating cupcakes... like, bloodshed?

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1 to 10, how close it Meryl to murdering someone: I’m going to rate this an 8, if only because Mary Louise isn’t carrying an axe everywhere she walks, but she did spend what felt like five minutes screaming at the kitchen table out of pure anger, which was coincidentally my reaction to HBO first announcing they were bringing Big Little Lies back. At the end of the episode, she asks Celeste, “So, who are we planning to kill?” There you go, case closed, this woman wants to kill. Also, I don’t trust her bob. That’s the bob of a murderer.