The Fifty Shades Freed Trailer Abandons Subtlety For Straight Up Fuckin'

The teaser for Fifty Shades Freed was very focused on marriage, vows, ominous threats, and a few hints at sexual playfulness. What the full trailer wants you to know is there will still the brand’s signature unsexy sex that you’ve grown to love, to hate, to love again, and so on.

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This trailer is about fifty shades hornier and, in fact, features six separate clips of the best this movie has to offer: Jamie Dornan with his shirt off.

Illustration for article titled The iFifty Shades Freed/i Trailer Abandons Subtlety For Straight Up Fuckin
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Illustration for article titled The iFifty Shades Freed/i Trailer Abandons Subtlety For Straight Up Fuckin
Illustration for article titled The iFifty Shades Freed/i Trailer Abandons Subtlety For Straight Up Fuckin
Illustration for article titled The iFifty Shades Freed/i Trailer Abandons Subtlety For Straight Up Fuckin
Illustration for article titled The iFifty Shades Freed/i Trailer Abandons Subtlety For Straight Up Fuckin
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All screengrabs via YouTube.
All screengrabs via YouTube.

Um, ya sold me.

Ana has also had a personality spruce up. She’s not just a blushing bride, she’s Mrs. Grey and you better remember it. In the new trailer, she’s telling off a presumptuous architect trying to hump her hubby, driving a car like a speed racer, and hiding a gun in her pantaloons. That Alexander Skarsgard knock-off is still threatening her with a knife, but this trailer makes me believe Anastasia Grey can handle it—and then get the hair sexed off her head in a bathtub afterwards.

Contributing Writer, writing my first book for the Dial Press called The Lonely Hunter, follow me on Twitter @alutkin

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DISCUSSION

sayitright
SayItRight

Gah, I love these horrible movies. Pretty, smutty, low stakes. Exactly what the doctor ordered in these exhausting times.

Johnson delivers an eminently more tolerable, even enjoyable Anna than the even-more-horrible books do, apparently. I’ve enjoyed watching her from the start. And Dornan, well, he’s not exactly stretching in the role. He knows why he’s there. We know why he’s there. And the great thing is, the movies have been just fleeting but also just entertaining enough that no one can hold them against anyone involved.

Everybody wins.

Is it Valentine’s yet?