Illustration for article titled The New iReal Housewives of Atlanta/i Taglines Arent Bad Enough
Screenshot: Bravo

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 11 trailer left a lot to be desired in terms of compelling scandal (and it really just made me want to marathon the better Bravo series, Married to Medicine, instead). Because what is the franchise without its most prominent tea stirrers Phaedra, Kenya, and Sheree? Nonetheless, everyone remaining and new on the cast has given sufficient thought to conceiving a new punny catchphrase that encapsulates their current life status and emotional state in one.


Eva, who officially got her peach, needed a statement that incorporated both America’s Top Model and the fact that she’s getting married. Shamari’s tagline screams, “I’m the new kid!” and alerts us that she’s ready to start shit. And as long as Kandi receives her checks, she doesn’t give a fuck what her tagline is this season, which premieres this Sunday, November 4 and for which she is getting paid.

Here are the taglines, ranked in descending order from the worst to best use of puns and wordplay. These could (and should!) be so much worse than they are:

6. “I live a model life. Now I’m ready to be a top wife.” -Eva Marcille (Both too much and not enough thought put into this.)


5. “I count my blessings—and my checks!” -Kandi Burruss (Classic moneymaking Kandi.)

4. “I may be an open book, but that does not mean I am easily read.” -Shamari DeVoe (She wants to be seen.)

3. “I took a left turn but now, things are just right.” -Porsha Williams (Solid.)

2. “I age like fine wine, and now, I am ready to chill.” -Cynthia Bailey (Wine, it chills. Excellent.)


1. “I am the glue for my wig and my family!” -Nene Leakes (Excellent.)

Culture Editor, Jezebel

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