No one dresses better than Tracee Ellis Ross—that is a general rule of thumb in Hollywood. So it makes sense that her gorgeous gilded gown set the tone for Vanity Fair’s annual fancy-as-shit Oscars party, with the best looks dripped up in precious metals. Let’s check in on a few of the best!

Alicia Silverstone is a willing chandelier, and Diane Kruger is a platinum record; Miguel is joining Smashmouth, but at least he had the decency to match Nazanin’s edgy leather. Kerry Washington is Cleopatra embodied, her skirt beaded in hieroglyphs, and she can tie with Tracee for the most Egyptian-inspired, most breathtaking.

Camila Mendes’s cheeky trompe l’oeil is giving me life, and Hunter Schafer is a sculpture come to life! Regina King and Charlize Theron gave us Hollywood royalty in fringe and crystals, exactly as confident as they should be.

Crimson draping was also a theme; Barbie Ferreira and Kathryn Hahn went for not-too-serious party ruffles, and Maya Rudolph got even more comfortable than her sequin caftan in a serious business mini-dress. Lindsay Usich, with Marilyn Manson, did old-Hollywood-glam but in a pajama way, an intelligent option for what was no doubt a very long evening.

Cool mint is the best flavor of chewing gum and vape pods, which is the fashion statement I choose to believe all these people are making. Joanna Newsom, Chrissy Teigen, and Paula Abdul’s looks are vintage-adjacent as one might expect—the ’50s, the ’70s, the late ’80s—while Tessa Thompson is serving us Valkyrie realness, if Valkyrie was spending her weekends in a leather bar telling disgusting little piggies to shut the fuck up.

We love color! Cynthia Erivo’s gorgeous spring vibes are flowing on her like a gentle wave; Nasim Pedrad’s simple tangerine elegance; Taylor Hill and Yalitza Aparicio know that crimson’s better with a little floral accent.

Ava DuVernay and Salma Hayek are swimming in the deep of the sea; Donatella Versace and Maria Sharapova burst from the ground with the new buds of spring.

Janet Mock (with Pose star Angel Bismark Curiel) is stunting in appliqué, a white-on-black contrast to the more intricate, optical-illusion patterns Shonda Rhimes, Sofía Vergara, and Taylor Russell brought to our retinas. Perception and the human brain, a true wonder!

Ombré in 2020 is extremely hard to pull off in 2020 without looking like a Charlotte Russe (RIP) tag sale, but Megan Mullally’s gradient iridescence, and especially Marisa Tomei’s utterly stunning gold-and-teal looks, feel both timeless and deeply contemporary. Leslie Mann’s oil slick rave gown is nice, too, and Sofia Boutella landed the sexy ballerina look without coming off like a 2017 Kardashian. Kudos.

Billy Porter is Billy Porter. And he is funkay. His name is Billy Porter. The one and onlay. Chrissy Metz’s dress-down gown is still emitting a nice cocktail vibe, and Mamie Gummer and Maude Apatow showed up in their princess best.

Put Billy’s handbag in a museum.

Crisp white done right: Adriana Lima’s crystal leg is an accessory I need right now; Judith Light and Megalyn Echikunwoke are fully regal in their pristine column gowns. Winnie Harlow, alternately, is the Vanity to Billy Porter’s Prince, with a splash of Madonna thrown in. Hope they took a pic together!

Delicate, inky watercolors can be nice in tulle and ostrich, as Lili Reinhardt, Lucy Boynton, and Paris Jackson are serving; Zoey Deutch’s complex gown, though, needed a bit of a tone-down, as its muted colors and hem are giving me mother-of-the-bride, my least favorite note.

Get in ladies, it’s cocktail hour: When you’re not the star of the show, a little black dress seems fine, as interpreted by Connie Britton, Lana Condor, Rashida Jones, and Sara Sampaio.

Yuup! In my white suit: Karamo Brown accessorized with a general’s brace, Odell Beckham Jr. went with crispy fresh Terminators, Tommy Dorfman’s look is breathable, and Usher needs no satin sheets; he can just lie down in this jernt and luxuriate the second he returns home.

Lena Waithe found the miraculous sweet spot between a tuxedo and sweatpants, and I salute it; Anthony Ramos looks like a mfing king in his extremely curated ensemble. But when the fits do not quite fit—Sophia Bush and, oh man, poor Lily Singh—it is time to go back to the stylist and be like, hey dog I pay you to help me, que no?

Sequins are so sophisticated in black—see Anita Hill and Tiffany Haddish adulting—while Ciara is serving us starry night con bebé, and Halima Aden is pushing the limits of architecture style. Fuck me up!

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