On Wednesday night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live, host Jimmy Kimmel thought it’d be funny to give Colton Underwood, the 26-year-old former football player, recently appointed Bachelor and infamous virgin, a sex talk. This is to be expected, as Underwood’s only discernible personality trait is his virginity, but man is this going to be a long season, and it hasn’t even started.

Kimmel breaks out anatomical diagrams of a penis and a vagina, there’s talk of a fetus “baby omelet,” semen, condoms on bananas in health class, and a bunch of various antiquated gags.

I’ve never fully understood the appeal of obsessing over virginity except, of course, in the time when I still had mine. But the Bachelor universe thrives in archaic systems, where sex jokes and fantasy suites reign supreme and only the strongest reality TV junkies are immune to its charm. Whatever. Boners are pretty funny, I guess.