True Detective Sucks Now So U2 Freed Woody Harrelson from Prison

True Detective season two has undeniably become a rote procedural that glorifies its boozy fuck-up leads while also being so boring that even last week’s civilian-massacring gunfight scene didn’t muster a fuck. What we need now, is for this season to end. What we need now, is Woody goddamn Harrelson.

Alternately, U2 is such an accepted bane of my existence, musically speaking, that I don’t even bother railing against them anymore—they’re so ubiquitous they barely exist, except when they sliiiiide into everyone’s iTunes uninvited, of course. But on this day, we all must offer up a bit of thanks for this “Song For Someone” video/short film, which distills the spiritual essence of True Detective Season One (slow vibes, downtrodden men, long single-shots) into an eight-minute short film. You might be skeptical at first—Woody Harrelson plays a prisoner on his last day in the clink—but just wait til he gets out. The car-driving scene juxtaposed against a broad, flat horizon of brown earth comprises a good 95 percent of both True Detectives, minus Matthew McConaughey, plus his “daughter” and a trash bag of fast food. I been driving a Lincoln since long before anybody paid me to drive a Lincoln. I didn’t do it to be cool, didn’t do it to make a statement. I just liked it.