Victoria Beckham Will Not Join the Spice Girls Reunion Tour, Which We Knew

The Spice Girls cannot stop talking about their forthcoming reunion tour—to the point that I’m getting a little concerned.. The band announced they were getting back together in February, and every few months, have reappeared in the news, to assure us that, omigod, yes totally, it’s happening—despite no major details about the tour being released. According to the Guardian, the girl group will now hit the road sometime next year. But this time, only four Spice Girls will become one, and that’s because Victoria Beckham is sitting this one out.

I don’t know for sure, but I imagine Mel B is pretty pissed. Over the past year, Mel has been escalating a public campaign to—it seems to me—humiliate and/or guilt Beckham into joining the tour. Beckham is reportedly too busy “concentrating on her fashion label” and won’t have any part of reliving her old glory, as she’s perfectly fine enjoying all of her present glory. Can’t you people leave her alone? (Don’t, though. I want to see how this ends.)

Beckham has previously sounded completely miserable about the thought of even hearing Spice Girls songs performed by her old bandmates, so I’m not surprised she’s trying to get out of it.

Maybe Mel should have known that her tactics were going to backfire; on Halloween, she donned a (really creepy?) Victoria Beckham mask and held up a sign that said, “No I am not going on tour.” Her boyfriend theoretically was supposed to be David Beckham, but looked more like a Brillo pad with aviators on. In any case, he held a sign that said, “Please, please, please, do it for the Spice Girls fans.”

Remind me which Spice Girls fans asked for this never-ending media tour and behind-the-scenes drama? I just want to put on Spice World and remember what I can about 1998, which is very little.