Screenshot: CBS

The Big Bang Theory is a CBS sitcom about a group of geeky adults that has run for 12 staggeringly long years. In that time period, it has attracted critical ire, many Emmys, and earned its stars million-dollar salaries. But now this show is dying and I, a pop culture critic with a heart made of onyx who has never even seen a single episode, have decided to watch the program weekly to pay my respects—and also roast it to death one last time.

Season 12, Episode 5: The Planetarium Collision

Summary: The director of the planetarium where Raj works finds out Howard was an astronaut (I had to Google to check this and yes, he appears to have been one) and suggests he join Raj for a lecture, which Raj does not want to happen as he feels insecure. Also, is this a good time to say I’m not entirely sure what any of these people do for a living other than being smart, possibly working at Caltech, and Bernadette working in pharmaceuticals (god that makes so much sense.) Finally, Raj relents and lets Howard do the show with him, and the two of them go back and forth complimenting each other like good old pals.

Meanwhile, Sheldon keeps annoying Amy with some group paper they’re working on, bursting into her office while she’s doing important experiments. So he GOES to her BOSS and asks if he can FREE UP her time to work on this side project. Her boss puts her on sabbatical without consulting her and Amy is rightfully pissed, but Sheldon doesn’t seem to understand the severity of his fuck-up. Eventually, he apologizes, but I’m still here like... okay, can Amy get her lab back to finish her research?!

Worst joke: When Sheldon assures Amy’s boss they won’t be fooling around during their studies, he says, “If I won’t put a bagel on my desk I’m certainly not putting Amy’s bare bottom.”

Nerdiest moment: Sheldon being way too hyped up over this physics paper.

What I learned this week: That Penny is the best character. I think I genuinely expected her to be the dumb blonde of the show, but her annoyance and exhaustion with everyone is played for laughs more than her being like “science, wut?!” Maybe this was the case in older seasons, I don’t know, but my favorite moments from this show keep coming from her. She is perpetually over it all.

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Did I laugh?: No, but I appreciated a joke in which Sheldon mansplains mansplaining to Amy.

How dead is this show?: It’s cold and clammy and largely unresponsive when I poke at it with a stick, yet still has a heartbeat. Hmm.