Image: CBS

The Big Bang Theory is a CBS sitcom about a group of geeky adults that has run for 12 staggeringly long years. In that time period, it has attracted critical ire, many Emmys, and earned its stars million-dollar salaries. But now this show is dying and I, a pop culture critic with a heart made of onyx who has never even seen a single episode, have decided to watch the program weekly to pay my respects—and also roast it to death one last time.

Season 12, Episode 7: The Grant Allocation Derivation

Summary: Bernadette doesn’t get a second to herself because she’s a working mom and her husband might be a former astronaut but is clearly an idiot (lol, men, amirite?!) After she and Howard build an unnecessarily luxe playhouse in the backyard for their kids (complete with electricity and running water), she starts to lie about her late hours and creep out there to relax.

There are also some extra “administrative funds” at Caltech, and Leonard has to decide who gets it, so he’s stuck wading through applications for espresso machines and in-office koi ponds and everyone is breathing down his neck for the money. Suddenly he’s taking on a bad cop, hard boss role, and it sort of turns Penny on, but the pressure gets to Leonard and he gets all whiny and indecisive again. Annoyed, Penny then also begins retreating to the playhouse to hang out away from her man and eat Easy Bake Oven quesadillas.

Amy then catches Penny sneaking out to hang with Bernadette in the playhouse with a tote bag full of wine bottles. Her feelings are hurt when she finds out she hasn’t been included, but then Penny includes her. But it turns out Howard knows Bernadette’s been hiding out there, just pretending that he doesn’t know, because “that’s how marriage works.” I am not married but would argue that maybe instead of letting her hide out in a playhouse to escape her family he should recognize her burn out and try to help with her workload? Just a thought.

Worst joke: Amy says Sheldon is like a dog: doesn’t really think about her when she’s gone, but is so happy when she shows up. These people are married.

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Nerdiest moment: Sheldon went on a rant about Amish barn raising at the beginning of the episode, which I quite enjoyed to be honest. Also, Leonard and Sheldon play a game of “three dimensional chess,” which I did not know was a thing, and I went to chess camp as a child (yes, I’m a nerd, see I DO have some qualifications to recap this program, okay?)

But turns out it’s a reference to Star Trek, so I guess I’m not really a nerd.

Image: CBS

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You can have this board for what appears to be $219. Okay.

What I learned this week: Sheldon says he doesn’t care what people think of him or if he upsets anyone, which definitely tracks. But I’m starting to think it’s not in a “march to the beat of your own drum,” admirable way, but possibly a sociopathic way. Has anyone ever considered Sheldon might be a sociopath? Maybe a narcissistic personality?

Did I laugh?: No.

How dead is this show?: I’m angling my crossbow at the heart of The Big Bang Theory and ready to shoot.