At last, here is the trailer (via E! News) for the documentary about Whitney Houston that her estate doesn’t really want anyone to see.


The documentary is remarkable mostly for its behind the scenes footage of her 1999 European tour, shot by Rudi Dolezal, whom Houston personally commissioned. The trailer paints a picture that feels more salacious than tragic—at times various voiceovers refer to drug use and the dogged pursuit of perfection. As a portrait of a singer who was affected so greatly by the darker side of fame, it looks like it’s worth a watch.

Speaking to Jezebel in April, Dolezal shared his some of his thought process behind bringing the documentary to light:

My motivation was: Here I was with footage when you hear and see her singing and I was privileged to be the guy who was filming that. It was one of the most outstanding, magic moments I ever filmed in my life with any band. I wanted this to be out in an appropriate project and I think the Whitney Houston onstage is what I’d like to talk about more.


Can I Be Me will premiere on Showtime on August 26.

Managing Editor, Jezebel

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That’s an interesting line in the preview- about it not being the success that’s hard; it’s the fame. It makes me think of a documentary I saw many years ago about Karen Carpenter, and a friend of hers saying she probably would have been happier (and lived longer) had she not become famous, but once you become famous it’s hard to give it up, even if you’re not enjoying it.

I’m not going to miss this, although I’m sure I’ll cry through a lot of it. For me, Whitney will always be that beautiful, joyful young woman in the video for “How Will I Know.” Teenaged me must have watched that video 200 times.