Illustration for article titled We Accept the Academys Dumb Movie Challenge
Screenshot: YouTube

On Tuesday, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences’ Twitter account asked us to: “Share the plot of your favorite movie in five words.” Being the bunch’a bored hags we are, the staff at Jezebel decided to accept the challenge. Can you guess which movie’s plot we’re describing?

  • Found an old blue necklace
  • The necklace is in coat
  • Coat is on the girl
  • Middle parts hot at time
  • Billy Zane… keep the wig!
  • Kathy Bates is in it
  • Watchman watched kiss, chaos ensues
  • Draw me like french girl
  • Mrs. Rich wears hat, fucks
  • Sex hand was physically impossible
  • Big ice cube hurts boat
  • Kathy Bates will never sink
  • Old couple says “fuck it”
  • Women and children before men
  • Billy Zane is lifeboat sneak
  • No room on the door
  • Manic pixie dream boy die
  • Prequel to ghost ship fyi
  • Movie so long two parts
  • Two VHS comma two titties
  • Celine Dion’s prescient hipster pivot

That’s right. It’s The Purge.

Contributor, Jezebel

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I really dislike that movie. Disliked it when it came out, dislike it now. To dignify it with hate would be doing it too much of an honor.
Only good part was when the damn boat sank.
“Insipid romance, boat sinks, ugh.”