Welcome Back to the Queen of Theme, Bugsy

Illustration for article titled Welcome Back to the Queen of Theme, Bugsy
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I knew from the first commercial that Season 5 of Below Deck: Mediterranean was going to be a drama-filled fun time to be had by all. For the first time ever, Bravo assembled a crew with all women in the leadership positions of bosun, chief stewardess, and captain. Three white women in charge of three white men and two other white women? The drama that comes from such diversity writes itself.

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But when the cast was announced for this season, I asked myself the same question I’ve been asking since 2017: Where is Bugsy? Christine “Bugsy” Drake worked as the second stew on Below Deck: Mediterranean under the helm of franchise villain and current chief stew, Hannah. The job of the stews on the show is to clean the interior of the boat and serve clients hand and foot, no matter the request. There’s also a lot of table-decorating happening for theme-centric dinners and parties. Bugsy was good at all of these things. She was jovial, friendly to the other crew members, and generally seemed interested in the work she was doing. She was the complete package not just for her job, but for television.

Along with kindness, compassion, and the entire yachting industry, Hannah also hates table decor. So during Season 2, Bugsy and Hannah always bumped heads over who was doing more for the guests and who was better at their job. The boiling point was Bugsy pulling Hannah to the side and calling her a lousy chief stew. In yacht language, that’s like calling someone a punk ass bitch and then spitting on their shoes. Hannah has hated Bugsy ever since, and after that season, they never worked together again.

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Until last night!

After Lara—the second stew for this season—quit, Captain Sandy put in a call to the best stew in town, Bugsy, and Hannah’s eyes nearly bulged out of her skull with disdain. While Bugsy is now a chief stew professionally, she graciously agreed to return to work under Hannah once again, which will no doubt result in more absolutely ridiculous arguments over plastic seashells and table linen. But most importantly, the bright light that is Bugsy is back in all of our lives, praise the Bravo gods.

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DISCUSSION

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li’l sebastian’s mini horse erection 2.0

I suspect this is the soft way Bravo introduces Bugsy as Hannah’s replacement for next season.