What Do the Stars of 9/11 Think About 9/11?

Well, they’re really doing this. Instead of announcing, “I’m sorry, we’ve made a terrible mistake,” retracting their movie, and retreating from public view as a collective, the makers of the upcoming movie 9/11, whose first trailer was roundly mocked by the entire internet when it was released a few weeks ago, have released yet another preview. And this one features what I think we’re supposed to believe are earnest testimonials from its stars...?


Luis Guzman says, “People that were stuck on the elevators, at that point you’re pretty much in your own coffin. You just happened to be sharing it.” Uh, spoiler alert?

Gina Gershon says, “When something tragic happens, your heart and your soul latch onto what really matters.” Indeed, and fun little time-wasters like bad movies become irrelevant. I mean, people talk about “America needing a laugh,” regarding Glitter’s release 10 days after 9/11, but that movie made less than $5 million in theaters.

Charlie Sheen says, “It’s a story about really honoring those that didn’t make it... and those that did.” Tribute, farce. Tomato, tomahto.

The doubling down is breathtaking, everyone.

Some Pig. Terrific. Radiant. Humble.


Some unrelated Showgirls-isms, just because.

“There’s always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you.” Cristal Conners

It’s like she had foresight.

“We could have brought anyone into this show: Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul. Charlie Sheen is what 9/11 is all about! He’s dazzling, he’s exciting, and very, very sexy!”