Oh, Deanie baby, you’ve changed...
Dean Unglert, the contestant who won me and others over on the Rachel season of The Bachelorette—during which the franchise finally gave some power to a black woman—and then he survived long enough to see himself become a villain, will emerge on tonight’s episode of Bachelor in Paradise with a new purpose in life. Notice he’s grown some face fuzz that looks as if he time-traveled and went too far into the future. The mustache? It’s different!
Here’s a transcript from Dean’s conversation with Chris Harrison, via E! News:
Chris: “What am I looking at? What is this? What’s going on?”
Dean: “I don’t know, I just felt like growing a mustache out for Mexico... I live in a van now. I’m just a vagabond traveling the world.”
Chris: “So, you have no home?”
Dean: “Right, homeless.”
Chris: “You live in a van.”
Dean: “Right, don’t really have a job.”
Chris: “You are a catch.”
Dean: “What woman wouldn’t want me? Especially with the mustache.”