Nick Loeb, Tomi Lahren, and Jon Voight in deep thought
Image: Getty

On June 11, NOLA.com reported on the production of a “Roe v. Wade movie” that was filming in New Orleans. On July 3, The Hollywood Reporter revealed more details of said production, describing the film as a “secret Roe v. Wade movie” that appears to be slanted pro-life, has been riddled with production issues, and features some of the confirmed worst people on the planet. Lots of information is floating about this movie, so here is a helpful guide.

The Players

Sofia Vergara’s ex-boyfriend Nick Loeb (yes, that one... the frozen embryos) and Cathy Allyn are writing, directing, and producing the film. They reportedly started production on June 15 in New Orleans. Production wraps on July 15. THR reported that the budget is around $3.5 million, but NOLA.com had it at roughly $6.8 million.

The title of the movie is simply Roe v. Wade, which suggests it’ll be a nice story about how abortion rights came to be, but (twist) it’s been described as leaning heavily pro-life. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the film “chronicles the 1973 Supreme Court decision that guaranteed a woman’s right to an abortion” and has a “pro-life tilt.”

Stacey Dash is reportedly playing Mildred Jefferson, founder of the National Right to Life Committee. Angelina Jolie’s father Jon Voight (pictured above in deep thought), and Robert Davi are playing Supreme Court Justices. Others in the cast include Richard Portnow (?), Wade Williams (?), William Forsythe (??), and Steve Guttenberg (??). Kelsey Grammer’s daughter Greer Grammer is also in this??? The Daily Beast reported that Tomi Lahren appears as Sally, the daughter of Supreme Court Justice Harry Blackmun, and that Milo Yiannopoulos is in the movie. Joey Lawrence plays a law professor.

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Stephen Baldwin and Kevin Sorbo (Hercules) were reportedly cast as Supreme Court justices but bounced after reading the full script.

Another what the fuck fact: Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s niece, Alveda King, a Fox News contributor, is an executive producer on the film.

The Content

The Daily Beast reported that Roe v. Wade contains “several graphic scenes depicting aborted fetuses, according to several crew members who spoke to The Daily Beast on the condition of anonymity, fearing reprisals.”

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Loeb told The Washington Post the movie is “balanced” and not completely pro-life”—he believes that’s just how the story is being spun, which sounds specious, given that the GoFundMe page pegs the movie as “the untold story of how people lied, how the media lied, and how the courts were manipulated to pass a law that has since killed over 60 Million Americans.”

The Daily Beast, referencing a leaked script, reported that “the villains of Roe v. Wade are undoubtedly the abortion-rights movement’s inner circle, consisting of Larry Lader, Cyril Means, Dr. Nathanson and Betty Friedan” and that these people are “depicted as a shady cabal of rich lefty Jews who meet in exotic locations like St. Croix and the Russian Tea Room to boast about the money they’re raking in through abortions—over daiquiris or pastrami sandwiches.”

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As for how the idea came about, Loeb told The Washington Post he decided a few years ago that he wanted to make a movie about Roe v. Wade because so many people talk about it but aren’t aware of how the decision came to be. “It is the most controversial case in U.S. history, and it’s the most controversial political topic, social topic ever,” he said. “I just couldn’t believe it wasn’t a movie.” And I can’t believe it’s not butter.

From The Daily Beast:

In Yiannopoulos’ yet-to-be-filmed scene, Dr. Nathanson (Loeb) witnesses Dr. Sopher (Milo)—who is described in the script as “an Anglo-Jew from India, with an unusual habit of an awkward giggle at the end of every sentence”—perform 32 abortions between 9 a.m. and 2 p.m., an alleged event Dr. Nathanson recounted in his book The Hand of God. “You blokes are missing out on a fortune over there in the colonies,” Dr. Sopher tells Dr. Nathanson after performing the procedures.

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The Production Issues

Here are the locations that prevented the filmmakers from shooting this ridiculous movie:

  • Louisiana State University (The school cited logistics)
  • Tulane University (Also cited logistics, but the filmmakers shot one day there)
  • A New Orleans synagogue meant to be used as a production hang spot during filming (Loeb told THR, “Once they found out what the film was about, they locked us out. We had to call the police so that the extras and caterers could retrieve their possessions.”)
  • The Statue of Liberty and the Plaza in New York City (According to Page Six, a Plaza rep cited “budget restrictions and potential operational impact to the guest experience”)

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Although Loeb claimed the shutdowns at LSU and Tulane were due to the movie’s content, the schools denied that was the reason, although who would blame them if that was the reason?

The location manager, Peggy Pridemore, also quit during production and reportedly sent this email: “I have been doing research on the movie trying to figure out who is producing and what the gist of the story is, and I finally found it, and so I am withdrawing from this project. I am a staunch pro-abortion feminist activist, and I will not be party to such horrible propaganda.”

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Also, a crew member allegedly assaulted a reporter.

Nobody wants to be in this movie except for crazy people. Several actors and crew members quit, including the original director, a woman, who quit on the first day of filming, which compelled the producers, Loeb and Allyn, to step in as co-directors.

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Did none of these people read the script? Well, nobody reads.

But also, the filmmakers reportedly didn’t reveal the complete script, which is common at that point in the process, but more important they apparently didn’t disclose the wildest aspects of the story to participants. They reportedly “misrepresented the project” to cast, crew, and outsiders, per The Daily Beast’s sources, who say the filmmakers initially described the movie as just a “vaguely pro-life” film about Roe v. Wade, which would’ve sounded suspicious to me if I heard that, but I’m not in Hollywood.

A crew member told The Daily Beast, “When I read the first two pages, I was like what the fuck is this?”

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So...What the fuck?

A crew member who chose not to be identified told The Daily Beast, “I don’t think there’s a single crew member that thinks, ‘Oh, this is a great idea for a movie,’ it’s just being treated as another job, but nobody really wants to go to work the next day.”

THR further reported last week that Loeb is trying to find investors to give him $1 million to complete production. One anonymous investor who declined to finance the film told THR, “The film reinforces lies that have been told over and over, like Margaret Sanger started Planned Parenthood to kill African-American babies... All the weird fake news about abortion is in there. All stuff that is easily debunked.” Still, it’s possible that pro-life rich people will save the film and put it into theaters.

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Loeb insists that this movie exists as education for viewers and he must think people are stupid enough to believe a movie that has the nerve to cast Tomi Lahren and Milo Yiannopoulos for any reason at all has no conservative pro-life agenda. As Justin Charity explained at the Ringer, “Among critics, movies with an aggressively right-wing agenda and identity are always more trouble than they’re worth at the box office. The movies are marginal and artless. They’re not designed to entertain, or even inform, so much as they exist to prove, however pathetically, that right-wing filmmakers might flourish apart from Hollywood’s center-left orthodoxies.”

Anyway, so you’re thinking, Maybe it won’t be that bad?

Well:

Some of the project’s budget will be used for special effects. According to the synopsis, “The film will employ CGI to show the procedure from the baby’s POV, while it’s [sic] tiny arms and legs are ripped off and head is crushed.”