Weekly-ish, a pre-approved, snap-judged music guide based on our very scientific, non-subjective Yes/No rating system. There’s really no debating this, come on stop.

Y: June is tickling our backs, which means summer song candidates will be jostling for chart position like crazy. Icona Pop’s “Emergency” and its drunken trumpet riffs kinda give me “Happy” vibes, which means I’ll hate it by, like, Monday. [Billboard]

Y: Chance the Rapper laid a way too short fire verse about being “just a boy with a rock” over this dreamy drum beat that was originally the property of Hiatus Kaiyote. [Stereogum]

Advertisement

Y: You might catch me in the subway breakdancing to Disclosure’s “Holding On” (with Gregory Porter). Do not try to stop me. [Stereogum]

N: Jason Derulo is only interesting in the sense that he’s so uninteresting. Most of his songs have that blank quality that makes them perfect pop radio filler. “Try Me,” featuring an expressionless J. Lo, is one. [Miss Info]

Advertisement

N: Sometimes I feel like Taio Cruz is just Jason Derulo with a lot of makeup. I already dismissed “Do What I Like” because I know I can sing it better. The video is equally disposable. [Idolator]

Y: “The Night Is Still Young” is the most unmistakably pop track on Nicki Minaj’s Pinkprint album, and so the video is rightfully bathed in bubblicious hues and full of slow-motion revelry. [Miss Info]

Y: Tamar Braxton’s screechy vocals sail so smoothly over this soft, doting old school jam “If I Don’t Have You.” I need to grab somebody to slow dance. [Rap-Up]

N: Juicy J stutter-raps about standard drug-induced infatuation on “Tryna Fuck” (the censored version is “Tryna Love,” which is very different). Maybe I need to hear it in a dance vicinity to truly feel it. [Miss Info]

Y: Danity Kane’s Dawn Richard is such an unappreciated weirdo. This dual video for “Titans” and “James Dean” has cool technological morphing and choreo. [Rap-Up]

Y: Joss Stone’s pretty okay song “The Answer” is a storm of fiddles, calypso and other rhythms you might hear at a Sandals resort or Starbucks. [Billboard]


Contact the author at clover@jezebel.com.

Click here to view this kinja-labs.com embed.