Image: YouTube

Well, this sounds special (special): London-based performance artist/writer Bryony Kimmings says she has written the first draft of a screenplay based on Wham!’s holiday chestnut “Last Christmas,” which was released in 1984 but will loop perennially until the earth overheats and melts the very last Bluetooth speaker into some unholy liquid.

As reported by Deadline in June, actor Emma Thompson is a co-writer on the script, and Paul Feig (Bridesmaids, The Heat) is set to direct. Kimmings told RadioTimes that the project had the blessing of former Wham! frontman George Michael. No word on what Andrew Ridgeley thinks about all this, as usual.

Kimmings said her draft of the script included a trans lead, but she doubts that character will remain as is (Thompson, according to Kimmings, worked on the second and final draft).

“[When] I wrote my draft, I tried to slip in some trans people and make sure there was queer politics in there,” said Kimmings. “I don’t know how much of that remains!”

Sounds like this is going great already.

“I hope that there’s quite an element of queer in there, because you know it’s the story – it’s based on the song, ‘Last Christmas’,” the writer continued. “Quite an element of queer in there” would make a great Twitter bio. Also...the song isn’t queer? At all? The video, which features a bunch of poofy-haired Spiegel catalog model-looking couples “on holiday” (as they say in the UK) who are made slightly less poofy by a snowball fight, on the other hand...

“George was such a massive advocate for gay rights – and a massive gay himself! – so I hope there’s a gay narrative in there,” said Kimmings. If there isn’t a subplot about massively gay public restroom cruising, I’m going to march up to the box office and demand a refund.