As If There Could Be Another Clueless

Image: Clueless/Paramount

There’s an oddly poignant moment in the movie Spy Kids 2, in which Steve Buscemi’s character says, “Do you think God stays in Heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created?” It’s a question that immediately came to mind upon hearing that ’90s teen classic Clueless is getting a TV reboot that has been described as “Mean Girls meets Riverdale meets a Lizzo music video.” One: Is this not just Pretty Little Liars: The Redux? Two: Help.

Deadline reports that multiple streaming services, including the CW, are interested in the new project, which focuses on Cher Horowitz’s best friend, Dionne Davenport. From Deadline (emphasis mine):

It is described as a baby pink and bisexual blue-tinted, tiny sunglasses-wearing, oat milk latté and Adderall-fueled look at what happens when the high school queen bee Cher disappears and her lifelong No. 2 Dionne steps into Cher’s vacant Air Jordans. How does Dionne deal with the pressures of being the new most popular girl in school, while also unraveling the mystery of what happened to her best friend, all in a setting that is uniquely 2020 L.A.?

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Cher wearing Air Jordans? In her immortal words: As if.

Clueless is a near-perfect ’90s teen film that was so indicative of its era, and jamming it into 2020 is an insult. What is Clueless without the flannel, block heeled Mary Janes, and the Cranberry’s CD left in the quad? It’s not Clueless.

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About the author

Ashley Reese

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.