Beyoncé and Jay-Z Get Stranded Mid-Air During Stage Malfunction, Play It Off Like Goddamn Pros

File this one under things that will literally never happen to you or I: Beyoncé and Jay-Z, currently enjoying the European leg of their On the Run II tour, experienced something of a hiccup on Saturday, June 30 in Warsaw, Poland. The duo were stranded mid-air on a floating platform when it failed to descend back to Earth and honestly played it off so well, it took me a couple views of the 12-minute “stage fail” video to even grasp what was going on.

Bey and Jay, apparently very much accustomed to being closer to heaven than the rest of us, used their time suspended in the clouds to shout out their band, their dancers, the stage crew (shade?), their fans and each other as some probably-very-worried hired hands rushed to get Bey down WITH A GODDAMN LADDER. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it’s a very cat-stuck-in-a-tree mome, with the exception that those poor Polish boys were assisting a woman and her partner off a giant, mobile rafter…and the couple has a combined net worth of $1.16 billion. Yes, I’m clutching my pearls.