I realized while watching the MTV VMAs Sunday night that I simultaneously feel like I know what all popular music sounds like thanks to spending several hours on TikTok a day, but also what none of it really sounds like given how music is manipulated on the app. For example, I had only heard that awful Julia Michaels and JP Saxe song “If the World Was Ending” in its trolly TikTok meme form, in which the answer to “If the world was ending, you’d come over right?” is always: “NO.” And if you’ve spent enough time scrolling through the app in the past few weeks, you were likely bombarded with TikTok’s latest gifts: ridiculous “WAP” mash-up after “WAP” mash-up.
Apparently, “WAP” works well with nearly everything? Well, almost everything. Here’s a rundown of the most notable mash-ups, remixes, and cover offerings. And no, I’m not including the one featuring demon Ben Shapiro, thank you, next!
“WAP”’s absolute filth pairs perfectly with “Body Party,” a song that honestly delivers the same message as “WAP” for girls too afraid to say *whispers* pussy.
I go back and forth between wanting to remove the original 1D choruses here but also savoring the juxtaposition of those sweet, sweet teen boys crooning, “Nobody knows you, baby, the way I do,” and freak-bitch Megan demanding they swallow her.
When the song swerves from Taylor Swift’s chorus into the “WAP” chorus? That’s a Shyamalan twist for the books.
While I totally support an “S&M” and “WAP” mash-up in theory, I feel like this was a missed opportunity to get Rihanna’s vocals really working with Megan and Cardi’s together on a song. Don’t just use it as an instrumental!
Everything sounds better over the anxious Psycho-strings of “Toxic,” so this is an easy win.
Andrew, if you’re going to go in, GO IN. Give us the full length!
The Weeknd is shaking.
Turned “WAP” into something I’d hear shopping for greeting cards at Target. I’m good, thanks.
This is what we call “cursed audio.” In fact, pretty much all mash-ups are cursed. This post is cursed, get the fuck out of here!