Buckle the Fuck Up for the Lifetime College Admissions Scandal Movie Trailer

AHHH YES
AHHH YES
Screenshot: Lifetime

Nothing pleases me more than when rich people do bad things and then are discovered, later, by the authorities, to be bad. The saga of Aunt Becky, her crime hat, Felicity Huffman, and the children of famous people who could not get into “good” colleges without some help is riveting. And now, finally, we have a trailer for the first of many TV movie adaptations about this debacle, and it is everything I’ve ever hoped!

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Mia Kirshner and Penelope Ann Miller play variations on Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin in the cleverly named Lifetime movie The College Admissions Scandal. What unfolds in the trailer is a situation in which every single person involved is acting as if this job will be their very last. “You studied Darwin last year, didn’t you?” Mia Kirshner says at one point to her Olivia Jade stand-in. “Some species survive.... and some don’t.”

Mom!! What the fuck!

Also delightful is how the moms in this lightly fictionalized retelling are honestly so aghast at the stupidity of their progeny. “He’s losing his way,” Penelope Ann Miller whispers of her idiot son, who is later seen staring quizzically at a Scantron sheet. Later on, both Penelope Ann Miller and Mia Kirshner rend their garments and gnash their teeth in well-appointed walk-in closets, cursing their children’s stupidity, which clearly drove them to such nefarious ends.

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Lifetime’s movies are generally instant camp classics, and I am delighted to say that this one will join the ranks of those that came before. This mess is out October 12. Be ready.

Managing Editor, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

Jerry-Netherland
Jerry-Netherland

Also delightful is how the moms in this lightly fictionalized retelling are honestly so aghast at the stupidity of their progeny.”

This actually comports with last month’s extensive Vanity Fair story; not necessarily with the actress-moms, but certainly with some of the moms who are highly educated professionals and knew their kids weren’t at all up to the academic rigors of the “good schools” to which they were seeking access.

The question, of course, remains: where were these parents when their kids were slipping behind academically? And why was admission to a prestige school (from which these kids were destined to flunk out) so important? But I doubt Lifetime will go near that level of probity.