Chip and Joanna Gaines Will Have an Entire TV Network to Themselves

Earlier this year, Chip and Joanna Gaines ended their immensely popular HGTV show, Fixer Upper. Were they riding off into the Texan sunset, content with their moderate fortune and thriving merch business? Hell, no. They’re coming back, but not with a new show. No, indeed! They are back with an entire goddamn TV network.

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There, faintly, in the distance—can you hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth coming from HGTV headquarters?

The pair teased the prospect on The Tonight Show, and shortly thereafter Variety reported they were in exclusive talks with Discovery:

Home remodeling superstars Chip and Joanna Gaines are in talks with Discovery to launch a linear channel and streaming service focused on their formidable Magnolia brand of home and lifestyle programming and products.

Discovery is planning to relaunch one of its 12 existing U.S. channels as the Gaines’ outlet, which will also have a companion streaming service. Discovery is understood to be considering a makeover of either Great American Country or DIY. Both of those channels reach about 60 million homes.

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“The deal is envisioned as being similar to the partnership Discovery has with Oprah Winfrey on OWN,” Variety explained.

“We’re excited to share we are in the early stages of talking with Discovery about a lifestyle focused media network for Magnolia,” said Magnolia spokesman John Marsicano confirmed. “The details surrounding this opportunity remain a work in progress but together our hope is to build a different kind of platform for unique inspiring and family-friendly content.”

Can you even imagine how schmaltzy their Christmas programming is going to be? I can’t wait.

Senior Editor, Attic Haunter, Jezebel

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Perhaps only tangentially related to Chip & Jo*, after stretching in bed I had weird cramps along my shin bones last night, like a charlie horse in the calf, but not quite as terrible, and in front. They took their time going away but the area feels fine now. I blame walking on hard surfaces in my super slippery leather soled loafers, I think my feet and legs just had to hold on in a weird way and the resulting cramps felt very strange. Has this happened to anyone else?

*Chip and Jo make me feel crampy and I have not had a period in years.