Image: Getty

What’s that? Do you hear something rustling in the bushes? No, it’s not the stalker character from YOU—it’s the 76th Annual Golden Globe Awards hosted by Sandra Oh and Andy Samberg! Lady Gaga is here! Bradley Cooper is right beside her peeing on stage! Lupita Nyong’o!!! Rami Malek is here looking very distinguished without his fake teeth! Regina King is here to get some long overdue respect!

Everyone grab a vape, or find the nearest thing infused with CBD (something! anything!). Get in your bird box and get responsibly drunk while we liveblog the funnest awards show in Hollywood.