Disney+ Hates Lady Butts, Loves Man Butts

Illustration for article titled Disney+ Hates Lady Butts, Loves Man Butts
Screenshot: 20th Century Fox

Disney+ is at this point pretty notorious for not letting anything good get on its streaming platform: there is little-to-no sex, cursing, or nudity, and there are multiple High School Musical installments and spinoffs. Lin Manuel Miranda famously had to edit out several “fucks” in Hamilton just to get Disney+ to stream the musical. Lizzie Maguire, meanwhile, is not allowed to fuck at all. Disney+ is prudish as hell.

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So it was with some interest, and the sounding of a small hypocrisy alarm bell, that I read a Variety report on Sunday that revealed the Puritans at Disney+ let a little man-butt slip through. Apparently, the streaming site is airing an “unedited” version of 2014's X-Men: Days of Future Past—one that includes at least one fuck and a shot of Hugh Jackman’s butt. I only vaguely recall this film and/or the entirety of 2014 and I cannot find a usable photo of the butt online, but trust assured, it’s a full butt.

Hugh Jackman has a censored version of the butt on his Instagram, should you care to see it (scroll through):

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This is mildly scandalous, but what’s more curious is that Disney+ has, in fact, previously removed a butt from a classic film now in its streaming library. The film is 1989's Splash, and the butt belongs to Darryl Hannah. Disney reportedly used CGI to cover up some of Hannah’s nudity, which, I mean, fine, it’s a “family” site (i.e., boring as fuck). But it does seem a taaaaaaad strange that the platform would censor a woman’s butt and not a man’s. Butt equality now!

On the other hand, it’s possible this big leap to full butt will pave the way for Disney+ to let down its hair a bit. Maybe, just maybe, one day they’ll finally let Lizzie fuck? A girl can dream.

Night blogger, author of GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO PEOPLE YOU HATE.

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On the other hand, Disney World absolutely LOVES the coronavirus, so I think that’s worse.