Don't Expect HBO Max's Gossip Girl Reboot to Show 30 Penises

Illustration for article titled Dont Expect HBO Maxs iGossip Girl/i Reboot to Show 30 Penises
Screenshot: The CW

Gossip Girl is getting a modern reboot on HBO Max, giving our new class of Upper East Side rich kids 10 times the amount of technology to destroy one another, plus premium cable permission to say “fuck” and get naked. And yet, it seems new Gossip Girl won’t be quite as provocative as fellow HBO teen show Euphoria. Alas, they can’t all be full of dicks.

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According to E! Online, Gossip Girl showrunner Josh Schwartz addressed the reboot—and its edgier network—at the 2019 Television Critics Association this weekend. He said that though the show probably will take advantage of its liberation from the more stringent broadcast standards over at Gossip Girl’s old home on The CW, viewers shouldn’t get too excited.

“I think you don’t ever want to feel gratuitous or something that you’re doing just because,” he said. “Luckily, we’re now airing post-Euphoria, so anything we do will seem tame in comparison I don’t think will be that controversial.”

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Euphoria is an excellent show. It is also a show that freaked parents out when news leaked that one episode would show over 30 penises in one scene, though (minor spoiler) the actual scene, which took place in a locker room, didn’t end up being nearly as tawdry as advertised. Euphoria also digs deep into some pretty dark stuff I don’t recall the original Gossip Girl touching: serious drug addiction, overdosing, depression, sexting, camming, partner abuse, rape (although I guess Gossip Girl did address this one, though it then made the sexual predator a beloved main character). Gossip Girl was like a catty teen fairy tale; Euphoria, at least to me, is a total teen nightmare, albeit a very good and beautifully filmed one.

Anyway, Schwartz says HBO Max Gossip Girl might at least throw in a couple bad words, for shits and giggles:

“[W]hat feels organic to the tone of the show won’t be button pushing just for the sake of being able to do it,” he said. “Maybe a couple shits will throw in there just because we can.” Wow, way to dirty up the steps of the Met, dude.

Night blogger, author of GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO PEOPLE YOU HATE.

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DISCUSSION

Codename_SailorV
Codename_SailorV

overdosing”

Well there was that guy who died of an overdose that Serena was partying with, who she melodramatically proclaimed that she “killed” and led her to ship herself off to boarding school prior to the first season.

(I always hated this plot thread. I liked it better when we all thought she ran off to boarding school because she was too terrified/ashamed/guilt-ridden to face Blair after boning her boyfriend)