Eminem and Nick Cannon Are Beefing Like It's 2009

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For some, mid-December is a time to put aside differences and focus on a mutual goal: survive work, buy gifts for loved ones, and take a deep breath before the holiday festivities. If you are Eminem or Nick Cannon—and as of this week, 50 Cent—that is not the case. They’re ending the decade with manufactured hatred. Here’s how that happened!

2009

Yes, this dudefight dates back to a decade ago, when Eminem dropped a song titled “Bagpipes from Baghdad,” in which he references dating Nick Cannon’s ex-wife, Mariah Carey: “Mariah, whatever happened to us?/Why did we have to break up?” Eminem also disses Cannon in the song, rapping, “Nick, you had your fun/I’ve come to kick you in your sack of junk.”

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Cannon, who was still married to Carey at the time and had been for about a year, retaliated with a Tumblr post titled “How Cute.” The post has since been deleted, but the internet never forgets. He wrote:

I’m taking full action on you Eminem. I don’t know why no one has stood up to your bitch ass yet. But I guess it’s going to take a corny, wack rapping, boy toy from Nickelodeon to set you straight. And trust, I am going to be relentless. Even though I got a lot of other obligations and occupations, you are my new full time job ‘homey’!

I asked myself should I go find this Bitch and just whoop his little ass? Let’s not forget about Eminem’s amateur mixtape rants of calling African Americans Nigger and how he hates “Black Bitches”. How did we let him get away with that in the first place?! He is a natural born racist in disguise. Someone tell this coward that he finally barked up the wrong tree...

This is my invitation to you, whenever and wherever you like sir. So when you come out of your introverted hiding place and ask your bodyguards if you can go out and play by yourself, I’m here Pimp!

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Not long after, Carey released her hit single “Obsessed,” which everyone
(including myself) assumed was about Eminem’s failure to shut up and leave her alone.

Eminem followed up with a second diss track, “The Warning.” It contained the lyrics, “This is what the fuck I do/Mariah it ever occurred to you/That I still have pictures? However you prefer to do/And that goes for Nick, too.”

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Like all of Eminem’s repertoire, both of his tracks do not hold up and are not worth streaming.

2014

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon divorce.

September 19, 2019

Fast forward to a decade later: Nick Cannon discussed the feud on T.I.’s podcast, ExpidTIously. “I think we was flying back on a jet from Africa or somewhere and this motherfucker drops a song, like, talking shit, calling [Mariah] all kinds of bitches and hoes. I’m like, this is my wife. This is my new wife,” Cannon recalled. “So I wrote this long-ass letter pretty much saying, ‘Look, I respect you as an artist. I’m actually a fan and I think you’re one of the best to ever do it. But from man to man, you talking out of pocket to my wife. You gotta be held accountable for that so I need to see you face-to-face.’”

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Cannon told T.I. that Eminem apologized and the beef ended.

Or did it?

December 5, 2019

Eminem is apparently over diss tracks aimed at the President and has instead focused his attention on Nick Cannon again. Last week, Eminem hopped on a Fat Joe and Dre (from the production duo Cool & Dre) track featuring Mary J. Blige, titled “Lord Above,” where Em rapped: “I know me and Mariah didn’t end on a high note/But that other dude’s whipped—that pussy’s got him neutered/Tried to tell him this chick’s a nut job before he got his jewels clipped/Almost got my caboose kicked/Fool, quit/You not gonna do shit/I let her chop my balls off, too, before I lose to you, Nick.”

December 7, 2019

Nick Cannon retaliated by posting an Instagram celebrating Fat Joe’s new album while dissing Eminem with, “@FatJoe album is Star studded, he even did some charity work and dug @Eminem out his grave I mean cave!!.” He also challenged him to a rap battle with, “Bring your Ass to @MTVWILDNOUT to Battle like a real legend Grandpa Marshall!!”

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December 9, 2019

In case his message wasn’t clear and/or thirsty enough, Nick Cannon dropped his own diss track, “The Invitation” featuring Suge Knight, two days later. On it, Cannon takes a few jabs at Eminem, referencing Eminem’s past drug use and his daughter, Hailie: “I fuck with Crack, but the white boy he fuck with crack/Pills and smack, shit, and he ‘bout to relapse/Call Kim, somebody get Hailie/And that other kid you raisin’, that ain’t even your baby.”

Within hours, Eminem responded on Twitter, which apparently he uses:

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December 10, 2019

No one knows why, and perhaps it is only because the man loves beef, but 50 Cent then decided to get involved. He posted an Instagram pic of Eminem with the caption, “I don’t understand to save my life why someone would pick a fight with EM. He is a different kinda animal, I haven’t seen a motherfucker come close to beating him man. hey Nick that shit was trash, I oughta kick you in yo ass when I see you PUNK!”

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December 11, 2019

Nick Cannon dropped another Eminem diss track featuring the Black Squad, titled, “Pray for Him,” including lyrics like, “You’ll never be a legend (Marshall)/Em, you should really start to stare at who’s in the mirror/Look at all the fuckin’ botox, bitch, I know you’re embarrassed (Hahaha)/Fuck all the tricks and the gimmicks/You like the new white supremacist.”


If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume this is a fake feud: Eminem dropped some bars about Nick Cannon because he has nothing else to rap about; and Cannon dropped multiple diss tracks about Eminem because he likes being the source of headlines again. 50 Cent got involved because that’s what 50 Cent does.

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Dudefights: now cattier than ever.

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