Jingle bells / Batman Smells / Harry Styles is nude!

‘Tis the season for spending time with loved ones and exchanging presents to ensure extended family that you still think about them every once in a while. Who knew the greatest gift I—and you, if you’re reading this—will receive all year would arrive so early, courtesy Harry Styles. Spoiler alert: It’s nudes. His nudes. Harry Styles’s naked form.

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On Thursday, December 5, a 37-second long video was posted to Harry Styles’s official YouTube page. In it, a vinyl copy of Harry Styles forthcoming, sophomore solo LP, Fine Line is placed in the center of the frame, atop a black table. Then, the singer’s nail-polished hands appear in the bottom left corner. He proceeds to “unbox” the record, as the kids say (he’s really just showing off the record’s packaging, which is also a popular format in some nerdy corners of the video platform.) That’s all it is. Except, of course, within the vinyl’s beautiful packaging are artistic photographs of Styles. He’s notoriously shirtless, but here’s he’s completely naked. His.... area... is covered, of course, but for the most part, this is more Styles than most of us have ever seen.

Hear that? It’s the sound of a million mothers yelling at their daughters, telling them to remove “that profanity” from bedroom walls. Personally, I think it is worthy of an accent wall. Can’t you just imagine a custom wallpaper made of the image? The background is even a cheery yellow.

Fine Line is out December 13. Until then, we have this. And I am so grateful.

Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands from NKOTB to BTS, is out 7/21/20.

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