Harry Styles, whose name is somehow a perfect summation of the person to whom it refers, performed a show in Glasgow, Scotland last night, and he wore a kilt. His band members also wore kilts. Everyone was very excited, as am I.
In addition to his kilt, Styles wore sporran (a pouch that replaces pockets on a pocketless kilt) and knee socks, while his bandmates wore red tartan, per Billboard. The Daily Mail, showing its usual restraint, pointed out that it was unclear whether Styles wore his kilt “like a true Scotsman,” i.e., sans underwear, so there’s...that.
Why is this important? Well, for the last few weeks, I have been non-stop bingeing the television program Outlander. For those who do not know, Outlander is about a British WWII nurse who finds herself transported back to the Scottish Highlands in 1743, where she meets a beautiful Scottish man with whom she has a lot of hot sex. There’s also a big Jacobite war, which puts a real damper on the hot sex, but still, the first season of this show is the greatest thing I have ever seen, and it is very distracting for someone who works from home.
Unfortunately, it’s on Starz, which means none of my friends have watched it and are therefore unable to help me when I send them ALL CAPS texts about Jamie Fraser’s chin. Somehow, most of these aforementioned friends seem to be going on trips to Scotland in the near future, BUT STILL, I cannot convince them to prepare by paying $100/month to watch Outlander, or to stuff me in their suitcase so I too can attempt to travel back in time and help thwart the Jacobite revolution, and so I live a lonely life.
So does the above photo warrant an entire blog post? Absolutely not, but it is a Sunday night and raining and mostly I’m just waiting around to see if Trump tweets that we’ve nuked half of Western Asia. Really, this is an excuse to find a few compatriots who will aid me in reducing a nation and its rich history and culture to a television show. Will you be one of them? Please? PLEASE?