If There Is a God, Harry Styles Will Portray Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid Live-Action Remake

Illustration for article titled If There Is a God, Harry Styles Will Portray Prince Eric in iThe Little Mermaid/i Live-Action Remake
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Harry Styles is in talks to play Prince Eric in the forthcoming Disney live-action remake of The Little Mermaid, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Styles would (ideally) portray the bright-eyed love interest of Halle Bailey’s Ariel, one-half of the R&B-pop duo Chloe x Halle and one of the most inspired casting decisions I’ve heard in a minute. If he doesn’t get the role, I... don’t know what I will do, but it won’t be pretty. He’s already not going to play Elvis Presley in the Baz Luhrmann-directed biopic about the King of Rock and Roll, so what the hell else is next after Dunkirk? My dumb heart can only take so much.

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One of my first crushes ever was Prince Eric. Then Harry Styles became my boyfriend. Now, they have the opportunity to become one and the same. I am not alone when I say: Do you know how many basic bitches in their 20s will shell out $20 to see this movie opening weekend? All of us. Every single one. Come on, Disney, do the right thing. “Kiss the Girl” is essentially One Direction’s “Kiss You,” anyway.

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And before you ask: I’ve already decided Halle and Harry’s ship name is Halle.

Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands, is out now.

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DISCUSSION

Codename_SailorV
Codename_SailorV

Do you know how many basic bitches in their 20s will shell out $20 to see this movie opening weekend? All of us. Every single one.

Girl, let’s be honest: they still will no matter who is playing Prince Eric. These Disney remakes aren’t making beaucoup bucks* despite mostly lukewarm reviews without mass attendance from millennials. People can complain all they want about how these movies aren’t “necessary” and are bad, but Aladdin is almost at a billion dollars right now. At some point we’ve got to admit that we’re being given what we want, even if we want to pretend like we don’t.

*except for Dumbo, because no one under 60 has nostalgia for Dumbo unless we’re talking about the ride at Disneyland.