Image: Getty

Welcome to “music’s biggest night”—or, as I’ve been referring to it this year, the Sunday night event in February that actually has a host (Alicia Keys), is not the Oscars (it’s the Grammys), and couldn’t manage to convince Ariana Grande to show up (or Bradley Cooper for that matter, so any dreams of Jackson Maine pissing himself on stage will have to wait until the Academy Awards.) If that’s a death sentence, let’s remind ourselves that women dominate all the major award categories this year, and Recording Academy Chief Neil Portnow, the guy who said women should “step up” if they wanted to win more Grammys, has stepped down without actually having to take any responsibility for his bullshit or recognize his institution’s systemic failures, which is somehow supposed to be enough to keep everyone happy. Yay!

Whatever, there are still a few questions forth interrogating: Will Post Malone’s Beerbongs & Bentleys win big? How many will Grande take home, even if she elected to sit this one out? How long is this show, anyway? It’s liveblog time, let’s do this.