A lot is happening in Jessie J’s video for her Pitch Perfect tie-in “Flashlight,” but I can’t tell you what any of it means.

It starts with Jessie J twirling wistfully around the quad of Pitch Perfect’s fictional Barden University while wearing a pair of leather overall shorts.

Everyone has just graduated, including this young man who gets into a fight and ~possibly~ breaks up with his girlfriend. Neither are dressed appropriately for graduation. In fact, no one in this video is dressed appropriately for graduation.

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Does no one see Jessie J? Is she a ghost? No one, not even Jessie J, can say.

Newly heartbroken, this male model pretending to be a college student accidentally knocks the books out of some nerd’s hands. He is nice about it and helps to pick them up. This doesn’t come up again.

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Here are some people.

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Many students point their flashlights at Jessie J and she is illuminated. Note: this song becomes much better when you replace the word “flashlight” with “fleshlight.”

Jessie J, a guardian angel, comforts the model and gives him a flower.

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He reunites with his girlfriend and gives the flower to her as Jessie J creeps. Nice re-gift, dude.

All of this is interspersed with random footage from the Pitch Perfect 2 trailer.

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Okie dokie.


Contact the author at madeleine@jezebel.com.