Kanye West Really, Really, Really Does Not Want You to Have Sex to His New Album

Photo: Getty

“I miss the old Kanye,” the adage goes. But you want to know who doesn’t miss that man? Kanye West himself, who’s spent the last few weeks begging his wife to not be sexy and delaying the release of his upcoming album, Jesus Is King. Ironic that we still mourn the Louis Vuitton Don, when the current Kanye has been the “old Kanye” for quite some time!

Regardless, it would appear the album is finally here. Listeners Wednesday night at the Los Angeles Forum supposedly heard Jesus Is King in full, with an accompanying “documentary” shot by fashion photographer Nick Knight. The venue was also dressed with savannah grass and greenery, animal sounds occasionally sprouting up around the room. The installation, The Face reports, was crafted by San Francisco-based artist Meg Webster.

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Photo: Getty

And since a new album also means an accompanying press cycle, Kanye went on Zayn Lowe’s Beats 1 show to discuss banning sex outside marriage during the creation of his latest project:

“There were times where I was asking people not to have premarital sex while they were working on the album. There were times where I went to people that were working on other projects and said can you just work and focus on this? I thought if we could all focus and fast… Families who pray together stay together.”

There’s something exceedingly sad to me about the image of a lone, sexless Kim Kardashian, stranded on their massive Wyoming ranch. So bored, and probably horny, she had to pick up harassing the local wildlife as a hobby! However, I’m also cynical enough to note this comment’s proximity to a recently aired episode of Keeping Up, where Kanye stormed out of a hotel room after admitting that his sexy wife makes him sad. Kris—I see you!

You can listen to Jesus Is King tomorrow, out wherever he decides to release it. Or maybe you can’t! We’ve been doing this for so long now, I trust we all know the drill.

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