Young Kendall Jenner, still newly emerged from the underbelly of the Kardashian klan, has, with the help of an ill-fitted cream bridal pantsuit and a dry kiss on the cheek from her BFF Karl himself, officially consummated her fairytale marriage to Fashion.
Herr Lagerfeld loves a theme, and for today’s casino-themed fall 2015 Chanel Couture show inside the Grand Palais in Paris, nothing but bright overhead lights and beige carpeting would do (“Make it atrocious!,” Choupette shrieked from backstage, delicately urinating on a pile of severe black wigs). The show kicked off with a somber flock of celebrities including Kristen Stewart, Julianne Moore, Rita Ora, Jemima Kirke, Lara Stone, and Lily-Rose Depp, all trooping down the runway to play a rousing game of funeral poker, or something, at Chanel’s “high rollers” table:
“Get a load of this,” Julianne Moore appeared to whisper to Kristen Stewart. “Bleep bloop!” meowed Lara Stone. Kendall, the table groaned.
The clothes themselves were fairly dull—all the better to highlight the laughing celebrities behind them! Here are some of the better looks:
Whatever. Finally, in a whoosh of tulle, a middle-aged bingo-playing geisha appeared by the slot machines, determined to make this fourth marriage work.
And so it is.
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Images via Getty.