Lil Nas X Is Pole Dancing His Way Straight to Hell!!

Illustration for article titled Lil Nas X Is Pole Dancing His Way Straight to Hell!!
Screenshot: YouTube
Y/NY/N is a guide to the week’s music releases based on our highly scientific, non-subjective Yes/No rating system.

Yes yes yes: Lil Nas X, “Montero” - Lil Nas X doesn’t want to be a one-hit wonder, and his new track proves he won’t become one. On the surface, “Montero” is a good beat with an infectious chorus, but the lyrics reveal Lil Nas X’s burgeoning comfort as a gay man in hip hop. It’s not exactly subtle, with lines like, “Cocaine and drinkin’ with your friends/You live in the dark, boy, I cannot pretend/I’m not phased, only here to sin/If Eve ain’t in your garden, you know that you can” before launching into the chorus, which includes “Call me out by your name.” It has it all: a closeted lover, biblical tension, and a reference of sorts to the (very gay) movie Call Me By Your Name.

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But it’s the video that really has everyone talking. I mean, Lil Nas X POLE DANCES TO HELL like he’s in an FKA Twigs video. Incredible. It may not reach the virality of “Old Town Road,” but “Montero” has a similarly infectious spirit and will likely be meme fodder for weeks to come. —Ashley Reese

Let me top Satan next! - Personally, I just really like that Nas has officially power-bottomed Satan in public. I think that’s iconic. Really, we throw that word around so much, but there are legitimately culture-shifting visuals in this short work of ART and INNOVATION. From navel licking his alien snake clone to grinding out Satan’s six penises, I genuinely love that the kiddies around the world have this to look at when imagining new futures for themselves.

After its release, Nas (neé Montero) shared the following note:

If you need me, I’ll be wiping the tears from my eyes as I descend my own stripper pole into hell. See ya! -Joan Summers


Needs more Maren: Taylor Swift ft. Maren Morris, “You All Over Me” - I feel the need to preface my thoughts by flashing my official Swiftie membership card. This new Taylor song is technically an old one that was cut from an earlier album which she is now releasing from the vault she buried in the forest. I can understand entirely why this song was cut from Fearless. The melody is incredibly similar to the rest of the original album which was already front-loaded with down-strumming sad girl music, and once you have a song like “White Horse” on an album your work is essentially done. (Anyone who doesn’t like “White Horse” can physically fight me.) “You All Over Me” is also incredibly lacking in the wonderful vocals of Maren Morris, who is listed as a feature but is used as a backup singer. This will not be making it into my rotation of car tunes I play at full blast while driving and crying for no reason. - Shannon Melero

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I’m getting back together with my high school boyfriend: Evanesence, “The Game Is Over” - Evanescence has risen from the musical grave with a whole-ass new album, The Bitter Truth—a perfect blend of updated rock and Amy Lee vocal nostalgia that it actually called my high school boyfriend and told him we’re getting back together. There is nothing not to like about “The Game Is Over,” the third track on the album. But what makes it a particular stand out for me is the supremacy of the drums that elevate this song from a bop to A FUCKIN BOP. Also, if you’re reading this, high school boyfriend, my number is still the same and we should really discuss this album. - Shannon Melero

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Yeah totally: IU, “Coin” - I’ve been following IU’s solo career for a few years now. It’s been hit or miss for me, but this latest joint really goes the necessary places for it to enter my regular rotation. Fun, flirty, and spring-forward? What’s not to love! -Joan Summers

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Hm: Teddy Geiger, “Love Somebody” - Teddy Geiger’s music has never been “my thing,” but I’ll listen to the new stuff anyway because I’m a doll that supports the dolls. I’m sure there is “somebody” that will “love” this. -JS

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I don’t think I want anything to do with this: The Veronicas, “GODZILLA is coming” - The Veronicas have given the culture quite a lot. Yes, as I type this, I’m sure someone is hearing the harpsichord in their head from “Untouched.” But this? Whatever this pseudo-comedy skit theatre video is above, coupled with a nearly incomprehensible jumble of lyrics and aesthetic styles? I don’t know y’all, I think I’ll pass this time around. -JS

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

DISCUSSION

janetsnakehole73
Janet Snakehole37

Cons traumatizing children for decades “GAYS R GOING TO HELL. IF YOU GAY YOU GO TO HELL!”

Lil Nas X: “Ok kewl. I’ll go.”

Cons: How dare you raise my child this way??