In the opening moments of the just-released trailer for the next Vanderpump Rules trailer, occasional trumpet player and hair gel enthusiast Tom Sandoval asks the age-old question: “Do you even fucking know me, dude?” While directed at his once best friend and bunkmate and frequent cheating partner Jax Taylor, the question also sets up a rather dramatic prologue to the season. Friendships are torn, alliances in shambles, and tear-soaked false eyelashes strewn across the floors of Lisa Vanderpump’s many LA eateries.
Since last summer, our favorite group of hot crybabies have done their damndest to drum up drama. Tom and Jax’s friendship has effectively crumbled (at least while the cameras are rolling.) The Witches of WeHo, meanwhile, have sacrificed Kristen Doute’s last remaining dignity and goodwill. And then there’s the gaggle of new Botox recipients who’ve crawled forth from the primordial slime of a Vandercocktail and clothed themselves in those teensy-tiny dresses.
I’m most surprised that “recent hires” Brett, Max, and Dayna are blessed with spots in the opening credits, alongside professional boyfriend to Stassi Schroeder, Beau Clark. The trailer sets up an interlocking feud between the three that seems to stem from sexual tension, as is the requirement for any new addition to the show. Lisa Vanderpump even comments, halfway through, that their lives seem just as chaotic as their predecessors. Yes, please! (Hopefully, they also come equipped with junk-filled Toyota Camrys, tiny apartments, and storylines involving counting coins for the laundromat.)
As for the VPR’s main cast, E News reports that Season 8 will see Jax and Brittany married, a chaotic joint wedding getaway in Miami, and a whole bunch of fighting between anthropomorphic Ken and Barbie dolls, James and Raquel. The most important news, however, is that Scheana Shay is still around—laughing to herself in that sad, sad, west-side apartment decorated with stuffed frogs and sunglass racks.
Vanderpump Rules season 8 premieres January 4, 2020, on Bravo.