Last night, Hallmark’s hit series When Calls the Heart returned for the first time without star Lori Loughlin, who played Abigail Stanton, mayor of the terrifyingly wholesome Canadian frontier town Hope Valley. How did they write her off? Friends, she “traveled back east,” just like your dog went to live on a farm upstate and politicians resign to spend more time with their families.
Loughlin was specifically ushered offstage in a voiceover, the coldest manner of being removed from an ongoing narrative. Via Entertainment Weekly:
Her departure was addressed in the opening scene of the episode, and, well, it was short and sweet. Elizabeth (Erin Krakow) delivered the news, as the audience heard her narrating a letter that she was writing. “We never know how life will turn,” she began. “It’s been a week since Abigail got word that her mother had taken ill back East. True to her nature, Abigail wasted no time in rushing off to care for her.”
“Abigail is much more than a friend. She’s family, and I will miss her and Cody deeply. We all will. But we must get by as best we can,” added Elizabeth, which is apparently When Calls the Heart speak for “bye, bitch.”
Congratulations to Hallmark for this latest innovation in the fine art of euphemism. Could somebody explain how to apply for COBRA? I’m traveling back east.