Maroon 5 Needs a Friend. Is It You?

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Maroon 5 has the misfortune of headlining the Super Bowl halftime show in two months, and like a 6-year-old who just moved to a new school and is scrambling last minute to find classmates to invite to their birthday party, the crooners who brought you “Payphone” featuring Wiz Khalifa cannot find another superstar who wants to join them.

US Weekly reports that it’s not that everyone in the music business hates Maroon 5. The problem is the league. “No one wants to associate themselves with the NFL,” a source said. That much we’ve known: Rihanna reportedly rejected an offer to perform at the halftime show, Cardi B said she would do it when they “hire Colin Kaepernick back,and Kendrick Lamar has supported protesting the NFL.

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US Weekly adds that Maroon 5 has been angling for a Cardi B cameo, but despite whatever warm feelings she may have toward them after appearing on “Girls Like You,” it’s looking like a no:

While the band had hoped Cardi B would join them, “as of today, she’s not,” says the source. “She’s been going back and forth, but it’s a no right now.”

Indeed, doing the Super Bowl halftime show would be ill-advised right now for anyone, unless it was Rihanna or someone of Rihanna’s caliber (no one is of Rihanna’s caliber) and she brought out Kaepernick, and then they took a knee for the length of “Stay.” (That just seems like a decent amount of time.)

Maroon 5 needs a friend, then—not to join them onstage, but to gently needle them into dropping out.

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A petition has been making the rounds online, calling for Maroon 5 to do just that. I say let’s go one step further. The halftime show is the only part of the Super Bowl that I watch, anyway, so maybe we could keep the concert portion, swap in Cardi B for Adam Levine, and ditch the football altogether. Just a thought.

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