In an exclusive interview with Us Weekly, Queer Eye Season 1/Episode 1 stars Tom Jackson (the redneck margarita guy) and Abby [NO LAST NAME GIVEN] (his on-again/off-again girlfriend) dished on their engagement, saying that it all went down at a “quiet dinner,” and that Jackson let Abby pick her engagement ring. Progressive!
My gut reaction to this story when they announced the news last week was that love is REAL, the Queer Eye guys are ANGELS, and Netflix SINGLEHANDEDLY SAVED REALITY TELEVISION BY REBOOTING A SHOW THAT WASN’T EVEN THAT GREAT TO BEGIN WITH. But upon further examination, the whole thing begins screaming, “THIS IS A PUBLICITY STUNT, YOU IDIOTS!”
Take Tom’s original announcement tweet, for example. It’s a cute picture of Abby showing off her ring in that classic left-hand-on-stomach pose, but take a closer look at the caption. You may have stopped reading after the first sentence, what with all the “YAAAS” screaming, but Jackson writes, “What a Netflix special the [sic] would be. If the Fab 5 planned and attended our wedding!!!!!!!!” Do we think this is just Tom trying to Secret his way into making a big event happen, or does he know something we don’t?
What’s more, there’s Abby’s recent interview with Us Weekly. “Thomas and I, we have never really been apart, apart,” she said. “We have known each other for 12 years. We have always loved each other, that never stopped, whether we were together or not.” Again, at first read this is merely someone saying that their love never really died. But if you put on your cynical hat, it’s a woman saying, “We pretended to be on the rocks for the sake of creating a more compelling narrative for the premiere episode of Queer Eye, and are hoping to parlay this into a big old wedding paid for by Netflix.”
But that’s just a silly conspiracy theory. At the end of the day, this is objectively good news—even if Netflix drops a trailer for ALL THINGS JUST KEEP GETTING MARRIED: TOM AND ABBY’S QUEER EYE WEDDING SPECIAL in a month. Tom and Abby are happy, and that makes me happy. It also makes me crave Mountain Dew.