Ready Your Body for the Cardi B Stripper Movie

Image: via Getty

Cardi B, former Vine and reality TV star and current Instagram star/star of my heart, was always meant to be a movie star. At last, her time has come.

According to Deadline, Cardi has been cast in Hustlers, writer-director Lorene Scafaria’s upcoming film about revenge-seeking former strip club employees, based on a 2016 article in New York Magazine. So, yes, former stripper Cardi B is set to begin her ascent in Hollywood by playing a former stripper, and she will absolutely fucking kill it.

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Cardi B joins a cast that includes Jennifer Lopez, Constance Wu, Keke Palmer, and Julia Stiles. Lili Reinhart—whose brief turn as a cam girl in Riverdale’s second season stressed me out so much I had to cleanse my palate with five episodes of Cheers—is also reportedly in this film, so it is possible I will not be able to see it in theaters, I do not know. Live your dreams, Betty Cooper! But please never listen to your creepy fake brother again!

Anyway, the important piece of information here is that Cardi is going to win a goddamn Oscar, and that’s all I care about. Hustlers will begin shooting in New York City on Friday. Tell the craft service crew to load up on oat milk.

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