Ariana Grande doesn’t live in the same world you and I do—at least, that’s what Grande’s fiancé Pete Davidson wants you to believe. “Can I just say,” he just said the other day, “this girl, she was like, ‘I want a pig,’ and an hour later, it was just there. You know what I mean?” To reiterate, he said: “This chick got a pig in a fucking hour.”
Said pet pet—named Piggy Smalls—may be on the path to certain stardom as well, as it has just appeared in Grande’s music video for “breathin’”. The piglet is naturally talented at taking very small steps, pointing its nose at the camera, walking over fuzzy blankets, and generally being a very small, cute piglet. It is enough for me, and maybe it is enough for you. It’s entirely possible that maybe it is too much for you, in which case, on a different day, yes, I might have related. Reader, trust me. But today, I can’t fault this pig for just being a pig, and for being Ariana Grande’s pet pig, and if Piggy Smalls appears in even more music videos, so be it. Godspeed, piglet. Godspeed to us all.