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Moulin Rouge!, a musical adaptation of the 2001 Baz Luhrmann movie musical, is coming to Broadway. It’s going to be a jukebox musical, Playbill reports, featuring “the original songs and pop standards heard in the movie as well as new hits released in the 17 years since its premiere.” Does that make this the second or third horse of the apocalypse? I know Mamma Mia is bad neigh number one, as it popularized the jukebox musical format among the masses—the jukebox musical being the harbinger of Armageddon, per the Bible, I believe. So I think that makes Moulin Rouge! number two? Unless that honor belongs to the upcoming Clueless musical, which uses hit songs from the ’90s as its soundtrack. Either way, here’s to the inevitable Girl Talk jukebox musical, which shall destroy us all.