Since word broke that a Lizzie McGuire reboot was coming to Disney+, many have speculated about future Lizzie’s love life. Hillary Duff, who will reprise her titular role, teased that her “hot” middle school crush Ethan Craft might make an appearance. And after much speculation, Adam Lamberg is officially returning as Lizzie’s best-friend-and-wannabe-boyfriend Gordo. In an interview with Elle, Duff said she didn’t want to give too much away, but that Gordo has “always been Lizzie’s ride or die and he really comes through for her when she needs him.”
This is all very nice, but I have a more pressing question: what about Miranda?
As those who watched Lizzie McGuire in the aughts know, Miranda was Lizzie’s best friend for the entirety of the show’s run. She was there when they plotted their school picture outfits, she was there when they were buying their first bras, and she was there when Lizzie was being tormented by mean girls. Lizzie, Miranda, and Gordo were a trio, but Lizzie and Miranda had a special bond before it was sidelined for Gordo and his developing crush for Lizzie.
During several of the show’s final episodes, Miranda was suddenly M.I.A. and she did not appear in The Lizzie McGuire Movie. In the Lizzie McGuire universe, Miranda’s absence was explained by a very extended family vacation in Mexico. In reality, Lalaine—the actor who portrayed Miranda—was busy with other Disney projects. A few years later, she later hit a rough patch, including a felony drug charge, rehab, and a career slow down.
Duff is being coy about whether Lalaine will return, much coyer than she was about the return of Gordo or Ethan. But she told Elle, “I’m sworn by the Mouse to keep my mouth shut.” (Duff, blink twice if you need us to save you from a Disney exec.)
And Lalaine is also being cryptic about whether she’ll be included in the reboot. In late October, she took a screenshot of a text message notification from Lamburg after some initial cast news broke and posted it to her Instagram story. In mid-November, she published an Instagram giveaway of 20 old autographed Lizzie McGuire set photos (but only if she reaches 100,000 followers by Christmas):
None of this feels particularly promising for those of us gunning for a friend reunion, or even a plausible plotline. The reboot kicks off with Lizzie celebrating her 30th birthday—she’s an assistant to a high-end interior designer, lives in a beautiful Brooklyn apartment, and is dating a handsome chef. But suddenly, her world turns upside down and she flees New York and heads back home to Los Angeles. In her fretful state, Lizzie probably has bigger things to worry about than her dreamy middle school crush with sawdust for brains or her unresolved feelings for Gordo. And yet, that’s all anyone seems to bring up in article after article after article.
Please. What the girls want is Lizzie and Miranda doing a reprise of their “Us Against the World” dance.