Vanderpump Rules' Scheana Shay Is Trying This Music Career Thing 'One More Time'

As teased in Tuesday night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, a show I can no longer bring myself to watch even with the desperate inclusion of a few new nobodies, Scheana Shay is once again trying to launch a music career.

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This time, it’s with a song called “One More Time” and a music video that would be horny if it weren’t so corny. In it, she scrolls through “Scheanagram,” where the rest of the cast of Vanderpump Rules have posted clips of her. She then splits her time between rolling around in bed alone, rolling around in bed with a disaffected Brett Caprioni (one of the aforementioned new nobodies who said he felt uncomfortable mimicking sex in the vid, during last night’s episode), rolling around on stage with backup dancers, rolling around in a pool, rolling her tongue to the roof of her mouth, and eventually ditching Caprioni for a mustached motorcycle model.

All the while, Shay sings in a robotic monotone, delivering quotable lines like, “I need a post without a mention/Give me good dick but no affection,” which for her sake, must be ironic. No relationship thirst to be found here!

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That said, the video is not totally without charm. Shay shows off the side of her face she typically refuses to be photographed, humanizing herself in the process. She’s so brave:

See what I mean?

Anyway, the video is mesmerizingly bad, and I’ve watched it multiple times for that reason. As for the song itself... it really could’ve benefitted from a chorus.

Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands, is out now.

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DISCUSSION

suffersfoolsgladly
Suffersfoolsgladly

What a bunch of drively tripe.

Why do people who can’t sing, think they can? It’s Kim Zolziack syndrome.

Scheana should just do regular old porn, since she can’t NOT sexualize everything she does and everyone she meets.