Wonder Woman, a powerful feminist icon and moneymaker for Patty Jenkins and Gal Gadot, in that order, is coming back to theaters June 2020. Wonder Woman’s outfit has been updated—shiny, gold armor, fishnets, thigh high gold boots—and it looks very practical for fighting super villains and also Kristin Wiig. However, the accompanying photo obscured one crucial detail about the costume: what will she be wearing on her feet?
In the 2017 movie, Wonder Woman spends most of her time performing a lot of physical labor, fighting bad guys, looking for Stiv, and making sure that the world doesn’t end. She does all of this—and more, hello, she is a modern woman—in a truly hideous pair of wedges that bear a faint resemblance to the Nike Dunks Sky-Hi sneaker wedges, which enjoyed a brief moment of popularity sometime in the late 2000s. Wonder Woman’s wedges are attached to a shin guard of the sort soccer players use—practical for her purposes and also a nice nod to her gladiator roots, I guess?
Objectively, these are truly hideous and exceedingly impractical for doing what Wonder Woman has to do, which is fight crime and save people and stuff. Unlike the Nike Dunks, the wedge here is but a sliver, clearly intended to be “comfortable” but actually the sort of shoe that leads to a rolled ankle. Setting aside the impracticality of the rest of her costume—the flowing hair, the breastplate, the little skirt—the shoes are ugly and seem uncomfortable? If the Wonder Woman sequel is set in 1984, might be nice to give her a little athletic shoe: a sneaker, in gold! A nice nod to businesswomen everywhere slipping out of their Reeboks and into their pumps before storming into their corner office and shuffling stacks of paper. A gladiator sandal works, though I feel strongly her toes should be protected from rubble and other detritus. Anything else, really. Just not these.